hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
and you fell through a lawn chair
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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