yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Randomize
