My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
