is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My breasts were aching with rage.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize