Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
