He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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