Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
