i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
