will power is for people who don't want to get laid
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
