Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
