i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
