just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
