hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
