if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I have feelings that need drinking.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
