Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
