Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Randomize