It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
