Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
