...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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