need another drink. this is the easiest way
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
