I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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