they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
