she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize