Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
