I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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