I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize