I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
