According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
