I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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