i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I need to align my fucking chakras
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
