I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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