I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
