dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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