even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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