You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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