the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
