found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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