My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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