none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
i drank out of a bidet.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
