Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
