My cat gives me a boner
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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