What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
