I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
