i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
