Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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