Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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