after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Randomize