Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Randomize
