Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
