Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
