I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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