I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
