fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
