oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Randomize
