These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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