This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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