There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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