i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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