sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
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