pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize