Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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