You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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