I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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