Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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