While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
NoShamevember. You game?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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