Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize