Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
My first STD was from a foam party
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
