We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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