his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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