I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
