White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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