3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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