I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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