All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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