I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
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