You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
