talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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