this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize